I can’t stand to think about a home location. It’s not in my nature and something I don’t care about.
That being said, I do have environments that I thrive in: heat (regardless of humidity), good air circulation, consistent weather, a busy atmosphere, and inspiring views (water being a huge one).
The thing is, even if I had all those things, I wouldn’t be able to thrive without who or what I’ve anchored myself to. In my case, I’ve anchored myself to my partner.
A part of my innate nature is to try to anchor myself to my friends too. I believe that this tendency is probably an effort to try to create a sense of family for myself. Alas, this does not work for me.
Anchoring to my friends doesn’t work for me because people tend to want vastly different things from each other. We’re all on very different paths in life. I, for one, have chosen a path of entrepreneurship. I believe this makes it even more difficult for me to anchor to my friends. I would be ecstatic if my friends and I all lived near each other and were around each other all the time but the reality is that among all my friends, our unique ambitions and goals require different allotments and directions of time expenditure. When I worked alongside my friends in a common workplace, connecting and anchoring seemed easy. We were united in work and we saw each other frequently. Work was our binding force. With our work paths splitting now, you can literally feel the connecting threads loosening. This doesn’t mean that the friendships themselves are affected greatly, more-so, it brings awareness to the idea that if I anchored myself TO my friends, especially with the concept of “home”, it would be an illogical and unfair move for me to make – for both sides.
And so, this brings me back to my original point: While thinking of a physical location as home can give me an excruciating amount of stress, I am able to cast an anchor. And while I’d like to cast an anchor towards my friends, it is only viable for me to cast an anchor towards one: my partner.
I remember when I first brought this concept up to my partner. I had spent several weeks thinking of where our final destination of home would be so that we could set our long term goals. I was in turmoil and couldn’t figure out why. Not only was I analyzing the pros and cons of every city, I was analyzing my mood WHILE I analyzed possible futures. Once I came to this realization, I told her that the maximum my mind could handle, was thinking of myself as my home. “I can work on myself and my immediate belongings… but thinking of a house and how or where that would be – that is just way too much for me. I can’t stomach the idea of more STUFF.” For those of you who do not know, I am quite minimalistic in nature. On another note, I was actually quite scared to bring all these findings up to her because of the possible ways it could’ve been taken. “I CAN though, anchor myself to YOU. I have environments and situations that I thrive in, but all I really care about is YOU.”
At that point and to my surprise, she laughed. “I think it works great!” I let out a quick and extremely nervous laughter and asked, “Wait, really?” “Yes!” She exclaimed, “And because, it all makes sense! You don’t want anything and I want everything. You’re a minimalist and I’m a “maximalist’. You’re like that even with money. It’s like you don’t want any gold for yourself nor do you care about it. All you want is to do the digging for it and find it.”
I took a good second to laugh at the accuracy of her gold digging metaphor. “So, does that mean you’re totally happy with being in charge of finding the future home and deciding how that will be and everything?” “Yes! Of course! I love that – that’s totally in my nature anyways!”
We had an amazing remainder of that outing and had a lot of laughs pointing out all the ways this concept aligned with our personalities and what we’d gone through thus far. And best of all, I couldn’t stop smiling at how perfect my partner was for me.
So, for my own journey and lifestyle, I realize that as long as I can fit my belongings into one backpack and one luggage, I am happy to go with her wherever life ends up taking us.
One backpack, one luggage, and her. That is my home.